Part of Me
by Panda-Adrilyne
Summary: Yao remembers and despises the constant reminders of his past. The haunting smile... The amethyst gaze... The lingering cold... It was just too difficult to let go... Summary and title may change. Rate T to be safe. Implied sex and violence. Slight humor.


Author's Note: So after getting an hour's sleep and a bowl of Lucky Charms, this is what I write haha. I'm not a hardcore!Rochu fan, but I love the bittersweet-ness to the pairing. I know that I should be writing Memories, but I can't seem to write it correctly. Maybe I'm losing my previous writing style... It is more than likely lol. Anyway, I was looking back at some cosplay pictures I found on deviantart and these certain group of pics inspired me to write. I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or the original story. The original story belongs to MaskedPhantom and ariesdraco on Deviantart. I did not steal the idea. It was just a template I used to express Rochu. So yeah... this story is just lightly based.

Warnings: Country and Human names used. Angsty and fluffage. Not really politically accurate... Implied sex and violence! X3 um... Also, the summary sucks XD

Summary: Yao remembers and despises the constant reminders of his past. The haunting smile... The amethyst gaze... The lingering cold... It was just too difficult to let go...

* * *

Title: Part of Me  
/One-shot/

Yao released a frustrated sigh as he hesitantly knocked on the heavy, oak door in front of him. He shifted uncomfortably as he repositioned the sunflowers that rested in his arms. After a moment of silence, Yao could only assume that the house was once again unoccupied.

_'No surprise there, aru..._' he thought to himself as he bent down on one knee and placed the sunflowers gently on the ground, making sure that they were left flawless and unharmed.

Before Yao could took his leave, he amber eyes began to gaze at his surroundings. Pain instantly flickered within them as a few buried memories resurfaced to his mind... The memories in which he had many times tried to forget.

Melancholy and anger began to flow as he cursed himself.

"Why did I come here...?" He hissed quietly as he tugged on his coat and made his way back onto the snowy trail. Even though Yao created a great distance between himself and the house he visited, he couldn't help but think about the far off past between himself and **Ivan**.

_'He was like everyone else... Someone who wanted to break me and use me for their own selfish gain...' _ Yao thought bitterly.

Suddenly, Yao's eyes widened in anguish and surprise as he quietly found himself in front of a broken and beaten down wall...

...Yao immediately recognized it.

_'But...'_

A rueful smile graced the brunette's lips as a finger began to trace the deep stains that the degraded divider had held for years. With closed eyes, Yao began to cite the dreaded memory that raced through his subconscious.

* * *

"Don't you dare move..." China warned, aiming the battle rifle he held towards the tall Russian before him. Russia smiled at the older nation's attempt to threaten him. It was an awful attempt really, but there was no need to point it out or taunt the angered nation. Instead, Russia surveyed China with an uncharacteristic desire. There was no malice or threat enclosed within his mysterious eyes, China noted cautiously. If anything, Russia was showing true concern...

...Or was it pity?

Either way, it just angered China even more.

The younger nation took a step forward, causing China step back. The pattern continued for a moment or so until China backed into a stone wall. In a slight panic, the elder slid down onto the snow, his wounds making contact with the dreaded wall. There was a hiss of pain.

China was trapped.

"Ah, Jao-"

"Get back, aru!" The Chinese man warned as he pointed the rifle towards Russia once again, regaining his lost composure. "Don't make me shoot!"

Russia tilted his head in curiousity.

"But Jao... I'm not here to fight, da." He tried to reason. China gritted his teeth in resentment.

"Then why are you here?" He spat fiercely. "Y-You have already taken so much from me already..."

Tears began to flow off China's red-stained cheeks. "I-I have nothing left... So what the hell more do you want?"

The Russian beamed at the heated reaction.

"Ah, Jao... you didn't let me finish... I'm here to make you an offer."

Russia extended out a gloved hand. "I promise you'll gain back everything... All you have to do is give me your trust."

_'...He lent me his hand... when I had lost everything...'_

"That's all I ask of you, da."

China gave Russia a longing look... A look filled with hurt, anger...hope? He grasped Russia's hand and stood gradually, keeping his fire-lit eyes locked within the winter-cold. He trembled a bit as he quickly averted his gaze.

Why should China trust him? He was cold and cruel... two-faced and-

China felt warm hands cherish his bruised face and gently returned his gaze back to where it was before...

On Russia... Ivan...

Ivan gave an earnest smile before mildly brushing his lips upon Yao's own...

Surprising both nations, Yao returned the tender kiss hopelessly... and more than willing...

_'With our first kiss... both our alliance... and my fate... were sealed...'_

* * *

_'I believed in him...'_

_'Trusted him...'_

__

'However... I was wrong with my decision...'

_'Ivan... No... Russia... was unpredictable...'_

_

* * *

_

"Ivan! This has to stop, aru! Don't you see what is happening to our people? We are hurting them!"

Ivan turned and smiled at Yao. "Eh? I think we are doing quite well, da? This is just a minor setback."

"Stalin is dead, Ivan... You're people are confused and in doubt. Even my own superior* is beginning to doubt all this!"

"But Jao, it's only a-"

"This is not a minor setback, Ivan! This is serious! If you begin to decline, what example are we setting towards our people... towards the world?" China shouted. "Khrushchev is destroying everything... He's hurting you, aru!"*

Ivan stayed quiet, his smile turning grim. Before Yao could turn away, Ivan laughed freely.

* * *

Ivan gazed at Yao with shocked and pained eyes. The rifle in his hands shook as he spoke.

"Jao... Why?" He shouted fearfully. "Y-You... You said you wouldn't leave me... You won't leave me, right?"

China frowned, but stayed quiet. He looked down upon the younger nation with much pity and sorrow.

"...Isn't it, da?" He whispered. China sighed as he bent down to the fallen Russian.

"Ivan... Russia... I'm sorry... I'm really leaving this time, aru..." China quietly spoke. He swept away Ivan's bloody bangs as he caressed the younger nation's face. "This is for the best... For the sake of our people... we need to split up, aru..."

China gave a soft smile. It quickly turned into a grimace when Russia tugged on his uniform with tears in his eyes.

"Jao... please don't leave me... Пожалуйста ... Не покидай меня ..."* he began to desperately ramble in his native tongue. In one, last attempt to make the older nation stay, Ivan uttered the most heart-wrenching words the world has ever known...

"Я тебя люблю..."*

* * *

_'Just like our first...'_

_'The last kiss we shared...' _

_'Was filled with pain...'_

_'And bitter sweetness...'_

_

* * *

_

"Wǒ ài nǐ... Ivan..."* Yao whispered as he opened his eyes. His voice cracked as he shook his head in remembrance.

"That was the past..." He muttered as he stood up and began walking once again.

It wasn't long until Yao found himself collide with another object.

"Ai-yahhh..." He recoiled.

"Oh! Привет China!~"* A childish voice spoke. Yao froze as his head instantly snapped up, only to see that it was Ivan himself that he had bumped into. Tension rose in the air as Yao steadily became enraged with every moment that passed by. Ivan tilted his head in confusion, a bit intimidated of the fury that radiated off Yao's being.

"Jao...?"

"YOU!" Yao accused in rage. "After all these years...! Y-You still..." Yao paused as he silently fumed.

_'I hate...'_

"Ivan Braginski..." He spoke in a low voice. Russia beamed.

"Da?"

_'YOUR GUTS!'_

_

* * *

_

Ivan rubbed his cheek, a bit shocked at the sudden violence that Yao had released. Yao huffed, crossed his arms, and averted his gaze towards the opposite direction... obviously still pissed off.

"Ah... Jao? ...Er... I'm sorry...?" Ivan didn't know what he was apologizing for... but if it'll make Yao happier...

Still, Yao didn't budge. Ivan walk a bit closer, assuming it was safe enough.

"Jao Jao... Will you forgive me, da? I'm really sorry, ok?" Ivan tried again as he placed a hand on Yao's shoulder. Suddenly, Yao grabbed the Russian's scarf, causing Ivan to slightly flinch.

"Ivan, I..." Ivan prepared himself to get punched again... until Yao silently pulled him into an embrace.

"I miss you... so much, aru..."

To say that Ivan was surprised would be noted as an understatement... He was stunned... He...

He returned the embrace...

* * *

A/N: Omg, fail ending is fail! I couldn't figure out how to end it! DX Ah well... I hope you enjoyed it! This is actually my first time writing Rochu so... don't be mad, ok? XD um... so yeah! Here's some footnotes and please R&R!

History:

* Nikita Khrushchev led the Soviet Union during part of the Cold War. He served as First Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union from 1953 to 1964, and as Chairman of the Council of Ministers from 1958 to 1964. Khrushchev was responsible for the partial de-Stalinization of the Soviet Union and for several relatively liberal reforms in areas of domestic policy.

His domestic policies, aimed at bettering the lives of ordinary citizens, were often ineffective, especially in the area of agriculture. Hoping eventually to rely on missiles for national defense, Khrushchev ordered major cuts in conventional forces. Despite the cuts, Khrushchev's rule saw the tensest years of the Cold War, culminating in the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Some of Khrushchev's policies were seen as erratic, particularly by his emerging rivals, who quietly rose in strength and deposed him in October 1964. However, he did not suffer the deadly fate of some previous losers of Soviet power struggles, and was pensioned off with an apartment in Moscow and a dacha in the countryside. (As read from wikipedia :D )

* China's Superior at the time - Mao Zedong

Russian:

* Пожалуйста ... Не покидай меня - Please... Don't leave me...  
* Я тебя люблю - I love you  
* Привет - Informal greeting (Hi!)

Chinese (Mandarin):

* Wǒ ài nǐ - I love you

Ja ne!


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